Getting through

It's been a crazy few weeks, or seemingly months as I feel like we've been running and going since Christmas . . . Alisha died January 14th. I'm so grateful that Dennis and I took the day and drove up to see her. She took a real turn for the worse and was moved into a beautiful hospice facility so that they could better manage her pain. But she was still coherent and Dennis was able to talk to her . . . I guess that helps a little. Still, it is all just incredibly wrong that she was so young with so many good things starting in her life.

It was the first time for the boys to go to a funeral and visitation. So hard because death is one of those things that you just want to shelter them from forever. Dominick has asked lots of questions and I'm sure lots more are to come. We've tried to answer simply and honestly but it's still hard. I think Xander also knows that something happened and he's been a bit anxious when he wakes up and I'm not there or one morning Dennis was in the shower and he freaked out a bit when I said we couldn't go down and peek at him. He went into this long explanation of how dad was asleep and wouldn't wake up . . .

But mostly we're doing ok. Dominick is now 6 and so he has taken to liking pizza. Alisha was the same way, she decided she would learn to tie her shoes when she was 5 and not a moment before. On her 5th birthday she brought down her shoes and said, now teach me. She was a difficult one! We've said from the beginning that Domincik takes after her and not so much easy going Dennis --perhaps he takes after me, I've heard some stories from my early childhood--sorry mom.

Dragon Party

Dominick is 6--he's now on two hands. We had a great party on Sunday. Dragon themed. It was a lot of fun. Amazing how much louder and more rambunctious the kids were compared to last year. On Monday Xander and I went with Dominick to school and stayed for the morning and lunch. I'm glad I got to share in his works and be there for the birthday celebration. He walked around the earth 6 times and each time around we'd talk about what he did as a baby, one year old etc. Mostly I shared where we lived--since that has changed a lot over his little life! He also got to be the line leader, a job he takes quite seriously--so cute to watch. I was really impressed with what a little leader he is in the classroom. It's really built into the montessori system. I sometimes wish more of the school Dominick came home, but I guess there is only so much self-control and most of it gets used up at school.

Xander has been doing his 5:30 am wake up thing . . . so he's just been a bit all over the place with his behavior. I think it's partially a lack of sleep and also just part of being 2.5. I remember 2.5 to 3.5 being a bit of a challenge for us with Dominick. Xander's a different creature but some of the clingyness and neediness seems familar.

Christmas Party

Today was Dominick's school party. We all were able to go--lots of fun. His teacher has parties down. They are very Montessori with lots of little stations the kids go through. I did bracelet making and Dennis helped with cookie decoration. I was quite happy with my station. This age is just so fun, they have so many ideas and opinions. It was fun to just chat and string beads. Xander loves coming to school. He's quite popular. Today he was sitting in the rocking chair and there was a group of kids all trying to read to him. I caught a picture of him and our friend Gretta playing house so cute!


Very fun to spend time with Dominick in his element. It's amazing how much less clingy he is--how he just goes and does his thing. Today he wanted to do a work with me and so instead of his usual crafty work he chose his red reading/writing workbook. I miss him on Tuesday and Thursdays because he's in bed when I get home from work so it's a treat to see him mid-day.

Here is helper Xander with that beautiful Frost smile :)

I got creative on a night that Dennis was away--I only make dinner 3 nights a week so I decided to make a rainbow meal. Mostly they liked the blue jello with blueberries.
Last weekend we had a playdate with our friend John and wanted an indoor space that the boys could run. We found a two story indoor playland that is part of Cincinnati Recreational Department. Cheap, clean, and tons of fun!

Our Year

Recently I've been writing more on Xander's caringbridge site. So I thought I'd include a kind of highlights of our year here. Looking back, it really has been an eventful year. Every year we don't move seems kind of uneventful to me . . . and thankfully we've stayed put for quite some time now.

Our year started off with Dennis' sister Alisha's wedding. She was just starting chemo for breast cancer and wanted to get married before. This year she has been battling through surgeries, chemo, and radiation. A year later . . . the cancer has spread and is not responding as well to the treatments as hoped. All prayers, good thoughts, vibes etc. would be greatly appreciated for her and her family.

Dennis has had a good scholarly year. In February he was invited to Harvard to give a talk about his then manuscript. I was able to come, the boys stayed with Nanna and Gramps. We had a fabulous weekend in Cambridge. Most of the drama was kept quiet until we were back--the first night my mom hurt her knee and ended up in the ER. She spent the weekend immobilized while my dad, brother, and sister-in-law had a crash course on cathing and child-care. We also found out that Daniel and Stacey were pregnant :) My mom had knee surgery in the beginning of the summer and was back to gardening soon after.

Soon after our return Dennis got a call and his manuscript was accepted for publication by the Harvard University Asian Center. Hooray!

In May Xander and I were out for a walk and we ended up with three abandoned kittens in our bathroom. Charlotte joined our family and we found homes for the other two. She's a beautiful cat, but so much trouble! She bolts for the door anytime its opened. Kumo has recently taken to perching himself on the couch as a way to prevent her from using it as a launching pad for escape. The cat fights continue but we think they do love each other. When Charlotte was away for her girl surgery Kumo cried and wandered aimlessly about the house.

In June we took our first ever family vacation. We drove to upstate NY to visit with Dennis' family and Dominick's godmother from NYC. Dennis did some research on his next book at Cornell University and we all enjoyed the sites of Ithaca. We then drove over to Lake Magician in Michigan for a family lake cottage retreat. We met up with my parents and Daniel and Stacy. Great fun. Discovered Dominick loves fishing--as do I!

Dominick started school as a kindergartner. He returned to his same teacher and school as he had in preschool but was now going all day. The best part about school are the "specials" especially gym. He has been organizing "gangs" on the playground and there has been a lot of chinchilla hunting.

Xander has had a pretty amazing year as well. He went from a crawler to walking with a walker, walking with our hands, to most recently walking independently. It is just amazing to watch him walk across rooms, walk across gymnasiums. I've had to ramp up my parenting skills because now I have a fearless independent walker--and he just goes. In the library I left him in the kids room and I was looking at children's books. Suddenly I looked up and didn't hear him --then he and the librarian came walking up to me. He didn't know where I was so he walked to the front of the library and asked for help. Lesson learned! And I'm very grateful we have a good local library.

My work, at Cincinnati State Community College library continues to go well. Work is mostly my escape from mom life. It is wonderful to use other skills and deal with adults for a few hours each day. This is also a great time to be at a community college--our enrollment is up almost 50%. My escape has been filled with more and more work, but it feels, mostly, like good important helpful work so I feel satisfied.

Books and Bunkbeds

I had a wonderful break week, between terms at Cincinnati State, so I was able to be home all week cooking and playing house. We made a major run to Ikea and are now, after 2 years working to make our house a home. We got the boys a bunk bed. It has a tent over the top so Dominick is super excited about this new bed. Xander wasn't as excited by his "cave." But he's managed to actually stay on the mattress which is a big improvement. Usually we find him on the floor, which is why he's sleeping under the bunk bed on a mattress on the floor.


Yesterday Dominick read his first book. It was a Bob book, an early reader series which I guess they have in school. I read it to him and he listened to the CD so the "reading" part of it is a bit of a stretch. But he was sounding out the words and slowing down to look at the words instead of just guessing. (I was impressed with the books because the pictures didn't line up exactly--instead of lion they used the words "big cat" so the kids actually have to look at the words.) He was super, super excited though. Had to run and tell Dennis and read him a story from it. Love how excited he was :)

Speaking of love, Xander has been our big lover recently. This morning he began professing his love for us, our cats, Dominick, the kittens we found homes for so loudly that he woke Dominick up. It would have been even cuter if it hadn't been 6am. His little expressions are just adorable. He opens many a conversation with "Hey guys" and has been calling me "love" or "sweetie."

Daniel and Stacey, and our soon to be appearing niece :) :) came for a visit this weekend. We made a kid-free trip to Ikea which was nice and the boys enjoyed some quality time with their aunt and uncle. Mostly, with Daniel it consisted of some chase/running/hiding game. Shout of "Uncle Daniel" began soon after they walked through the door. Stacey read their bedtime story :)

First Day of Kindergarten!

Dominick had a great first day of Kindergarten. Dennis took him to school this morning and there were no tears :) He was chatting happily after school and the teacher said he did great. Hooray!

Xander and I went to PT and tried out wheelchairs! We picked out a chair and while he was a little scared at first, once we brought out the basketball he smiled and shot the ball a few times. He then got down and insisted on pushing me :) I was quite impressed with the chair and all the features and functions. It rolled really well, almost like a sports chair.